1) Yeah yeah yeah, its been a while since my last post... I'm married, in a house, with two puppies, going to hair school, all that fun stuff.
2) I had a major epiphany last night/today. For the longest time, I've felt that nobody has any faith in me. I've feel like I have been shut down so many times lately and it is making it impossible for me to progress and grow. So this is mostly for me (considering not many people will read this probably) but also hopefully some people will learn from it too. (At least read the end part if you get bored)
About me:
I am...A beautiful young Daughter of God - I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me, and I love him. I may not have my hair done every day, heck there are even days when I miss out on showering. I don't have the latest trends, and I for sure don't have 100 dollar jeans. But not only do I have an amazingly beautiful spirit, I have pretty eyes, healthy hair, I have a normal shaped face, set of feet, set of hands, and my chest is just perfect the size it is. I am atractive. I could enter a beauty pageant and win if thats really what I wanted to do.
A wonderful wife - No I don't have dinner on the table every night, in fact, any night. Our house is a disaster! My husband has to be my shoulder to cry on more than my hand to hold. But you know what, I care about him. I love him, He loves me. I try my best to make him happy. And yes, sometimes I may come short, but in the end, it works out. No matter what I do that day he will always kiss me at night and tell me he loves me at least 20 times a day.
A great mom - Ok I don't even have kids, SO WHAT!? I have two adorable puppies. They need me every day! They love me, and they show it by licking my face, jumping on my lap, barking at me when I am not paying attention, they follow me wherever they go. Ok so they aren't potty trained, and I may not change their little box every day. But I take care of them. I bathe them, I cut their hair, I take them to doctors appointments. I care if they are hurt, getting their shots breaks my heart each time I have to do it. But I know they need it to be healthy. And I even by them toys, clothes, treats, and beds for christmas, easter, even small holidays like halloween they get costumes.
And once I have human babies, they will get spoiled even more! I am going to decorate every inch of their room with adorable things. I am going to make them the cutest outfits, I am going to be not only their mom, but their playmate, bestfriend, and role model. We are going to go on many adventures. When they need me, I am going to be there!
A number one daughter - I obey my parents, I respect them, I support them, and I love them with all my heart. Yes there have been times I have disobeyed them, and I have hurt their feelings. But they know I love them, and I am at their service whenever they need me. I honor my parents and the name I have received from them.
A number on daughter-in-law - No I don't talk to my in-laws every day. But I love them. I respect them. I think my in-laws are amazing. I know that they love me just as much as they love their blood born children. We get along great, I couldn't ask for a better pair in the world! Ok maybe I'm not the most organized person for their son. And maybe I'm not a genuine homemaker. Buy I try my best and thats all that matters.
The perfect sister (in-law) - When any of my siblings need something, I am there. I would take a bullet for any of my brothers or sisters. I bite my tongue when it needs to be bit. I listen when they need to vent. I watch their kids, I help clean their house, I do their homework with them, I give them presents, I hug them, I play with them, I entertain them, and I love them deeply! Yes I may say something to hurt their feelings. And I may get annoyed by them every once in a while. But I make it up to them and they love me back because of it.
A great granddaughter - No I don't visit them once a week. But I visit them. I call them, I listing to their stories. My grandparents have a lot to tell, and a lot to teach me. I curl their hair, I wash their feet, I garden with them, I miss them when they are not around. They will never be too old for me to hang out with. And I will help them out and support them until the day they die and then more!
A favorite aunt - No I don't have hundreds of dollars to spoil them with, and no I don't live in the next room for them to come to me whenever they need. But I spoil them with presents as often as I can. I help plan their birthday parties, I help them with homework, I hold them when they cry, I babysit, I sneak them treats, I make them feel special, I do their hair all pretty, and I don't have a favorite one. They are all my favorite, but I make sure each one of them knows they are special.
I am an adorable niece - No I'm not a cute 5 year old. But I am still cute. I help comfort when I can. I give hugs. I listen, and none of my uncles and aunts can resist pinching my cheek. I make them laugh, I make them cry, I hold a place in every one of their hearts whether they like it or not!
I am a kick-ass cousin! - Sure not many of us talk, and or have anything to do, with each other. But my cousins and I have FUN! We get into trouble, we tell secrets to each other, we stay up late talking underneath the stars. We have many memories that I will keep in my memory for eternity. I am their friend. And I will always be there when they come to me for anything.
I am a Best-Friend - Ok I may not have many of them. But I can sure be one! I decorate lockers for birthdays, I through surprise parties, I Give Rides, I Listen, I share, I care and when they stop talking to me, I cry for years. When they have a bad day I fix it. I help them come up with solutions. And even if it makes me look silly, I will help them with projects. I can tolerate anything from shopping and painting nails, to getting my clothes dirty with mud and car grease. If they call for help, I'm there!
Neighbor - I borrow things and forget to return them, I contribute to the "junk yard" houses of the neighborhood, I set off loud fire alarms at 6 in the morning, I don't do my visiting teaching each month. But I try to be the best neighbor I can. I listen to problems. I involve them in my life. I let them help make life decisions about what I should wear to prom, what I should plant in my garden, and how I should decorate my house. I bring them food when they are sick. I help make their babys quilts and burp cloths. I really do care about how they are doing.
Not only a Teacher but a Coach - Yes I'll do last minute lessons, there have been plenty of times when I haven't had the answer, and occasionally I will give out the wrong information. But my students respect me. They know I am smart. They know I care about them. I am the glue that holds our team together. It is my responsibility to make sure everyone is including and feeling great, and I live up to it.
A Straight-A Student - I've been tardy, I've been Absent, I've had to do make up work, I procrastinate, I've failed a test before, I've even failed a class. But I am always open to learning new things and I try my best to do what my teacher tells me to do. I understand that they are my teacher and I am supposed to learn from them. I have scholarships, I am on the dean's list, I graduated with high honors, and I am definitely an over achiever, thats just how I roll, and my teachers love me because of that.
A Sophisticated Planner - Sometimes I'm unprepared, sometimes I'm scattered, sometimes I even forget to attend something I planned on going to. But I am still excellent at planning. I have planned handfuls of parties, many projects, and even a couple weddings. I know people think I tend to bite off more than I can chew at times, but I know I can do it, and I always seem so swallow it somehow. I have the creativity and organization it takes to make sure everyone is enjoying themself.
A Remarkable Athlete - I fumble, I trip, I airball, and I've missed plenty of winning serves. But I am a true champion. I have made the winning point, I pass to my teammates, I don't get upset when a game is lost, I play to play, not to win, I can have fun but still score, I have made surprising moves that nobody thought would be possible, without me the team is not complete.
A Unique Artist - My stick figures scream when they look in the mirror, I cant draw a perfect circle, my horses look like a rear end of a cow, but I am an artist. I can create beautiful masterpieces of artwork through photography, dance, song, paints, popsicle sticks, paper mache, even edible finger paint. Just because I don't get paid, and many people don't like my artwork, I know how to express my emotions, I know what I want and I show it to the world. If they don't understand it, they're just not smart enough.
Stylish Hair Stylist - Sure I've butchered an a-line, I've burnt someones scalp, I've caused tiger-stripes, i've fried a girls hair, and I've gotten my round brush stuck in someones hair. But I know a whole lot more than most. I know that having a perfect hair cut isn't just about finding a picture and copying it. I know that you need to put into consideration skin tones, bone structure, face shape, hair texture, and product. I know what's going down in the latest trends. I am an amazing updo artist. I am so skilled, I can teach it. While there are quite a few people that are better than me, others are jealous of my skills and dying to know as much as I do.
A Money Manager- I spend too much money, I throw it away, I wish I save more of it. But we are financially stable. We have a roof over our head, we have food in the fridge, we have clothes to wear, I find good deals, and we have saved hundreds of dollars because I have done my research before buying.
I am a reliable employee - Sure I'm late a lot, I call in sick, I mess up orders, I drop the ball every once in a while. But I am a hard worker. I am honest in my dealings, I am fair, I don't charge for something I don't deserve to be charging for. I will not lie just to impress my boss, or sell more supplies. I take my job to heart, and I do my best each day with a smile on my face.
I am a Treasured Role Model and Example:
I trip, I have big hips and a big butt, I am not a size 2, I am not 6 feet tall, and I have close-set eyes. But I am a wonderful example of what a women should be like. I take care of my body, I don't need plastic surgery, I am skinnier and taller than the average american. My body and actions kick butt! I'm surprised everyone doesn't want to be like me.
I am a stable Support System - I am unstable, I cry, I get frustrated, I get discouraged, I vent, I yell. But when it comes to comforting others, I push my feelings aside to care for theirs. Rarely do I get to complain, cry, vent, or scream to someone with out it turning into a shrink session for them. I get over myself so I can help them with their burdens, even if it means holding my sorrows inside for a couple more days.
I am a creative designer - I'm not a pro, there's no way I will make it anywhere in live with design, I don't even know the difference between chartreusse and maroon. But I have my own creative ideas. I can mix colors, texture, line, symmetry, and all other aspect of designing and turn it into a wonderful creation. Yeah I could probably go to FIDM if I tried. But thats not my life. My biggest priority is designing my family, my home, my eternity.
I am a superb cook - I catch pans on fire, I bake soggy cakes, I manage to burn mac and cheese yet still have it be uncooked. I don't know measurements, nor do I care about them. I can make a killer chicken pot pie, and nobody can stop eating my lemonade icecream cake once they try it. Even though I don't make meals every day, doesn't mean I don't know how. And I know I will get better with each meal I cook.
A Great Advice Giver - I've ended up getting people in trouble, I've ended up offending people, I've confused myself and others instead of helping solve something. But I honestly try my best. I pay attention, I do have good ideas. I focus on what would be best, not the easiest, not the quickest, the overall best thing to do. Sure people have hated my advice before, but a lot more people have appreciated my service.
A Green Thumb Gardener - Ok I will admit... I forget to water, over water, don't give enough sunlight, give too much sunlight, I even kill plants without even knowing how. But I am an excellent gardener. I have high dreams for gardening, I have done my research, I make sure to do whatever I can to increase my knowledge and skill about gardening. Some day I am going to have the best garden man has ever come by.
I am a Crafty Chick - I've made some of the ugliest projects, I've wasted so much paper, I have hundreds of projects I've given up on. But I am one Crafty Chick. I know how to disguise any ugly thing to make it hip. I have creative ideas to make cards, scrapbook pages, book covers, pots, any "craft" you can think of. However, I also know how to take it outside of the craft room. I know how to mod podge food storage containers, I know how to make hair bows, I know how to make Chair Cushions, I know how to make dog beds, You can't find too many people as crafty as I am.
A Fighter - I shut down, I get upset, I give up, I want the world just end already. But I am a fighter! When all is said and done, I am going to be on top. Nobody is going to keep me down. I will have my moments when I have hit ground bottom, but I will always pop up. I am going to be like a cork in the water. No matter what happens, everything will be alright and I make sure of it!
A princess - I don't wear pretty dresses, I don't have lots of money, I don't get to have a say in what everyone gets to eat for dinner. But I am born of royalty, someday I will have my own mansion where am in charge. I have my prince, and I have my freedom to do whatever I want, and I can make a difference in the world, and I will, with my magic.
A Dancer of Poise - I step on toes, I kick people in the face, I get discouraged when I can't get a move down. But I've won competitions, I've been in concerts, I've choreographed. I know breakdancing, ballet, ballroom, hip hop, and modern dancing. I know how to catch the audiences attention. I have rhythm, I can step and swing my hips at the exact same time.
A Classy Musician - I can't tell if I've flat or sharp, I honk, I squeek, I chip reads minutes before major concerts. But I know how to play my blues. I can play 12 instruments, I can sight read, I've been in top bands and choirs, I've been invited to tour across the world, at one point I have even played all major scales in just 60 seconds.
Care Giver - I don't know if I would know what to do if someone had a heartattack, I feel awkward when I don't know what to say, I have even forgotten to deliver a ladys medicine to her. But I don't see myself as better than anyone just because I can do more than them. I am not embarrassed to be around someone who farts (or by all means poops) their pants in public. I can shower people, I can help ladies cross the street, I can lower my pride enough to take time out of my busy life to make someone else happy. Is it easy? No. It takes a lot of gut to do something like that, and I have those guts!
A Smarty Pants - I couldn't tell you the square root of 163 off the top of my head, and I do have trouble spelling simple words like except and capability, I don't know when to use the word lie instead of lay, but I'm still a genius. I have common sense that not many people these days do. I know why I am here on earth, and I know what I am supposed to do. I know what to do in emergencys, and I have certifications in many different areas. I have a head full of postulates, theorems, equations, adverbs, and nouns, but that doesn't mean it can't take in more. I just keep getting smarter each day.
Meticulously honest - I have cheated on a test before, I have lied to my mom about where I was going or what I was doing, when I was 6 I even stole a toy chick from a fabric store. But I have a conscience, and I know how to use it. I do not lie to get ahead of the game, even if that means getting last place. I can't even keep my husbands birthday present a secret from him. I don't act like someone I'm not.
Strong as a mule - I may not have muscles, and I may not be able to lift a car, but I have strength from within. I am a rock when it comes to my values and morals. I am not going to budge, I like a bulldozer knocking down any obstacles Satan puts in my way. When it comes to the tug-o-war of life... I am the winner!
A marvelous multi-tasker - I can't talk on the phone and merge lanes, I can't watch tv and clean, and I can't go to the store without forgetting at least 2 things from my list. However, I can pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time, I can be working on 5 different projects in one day, I know how to focus my attention from one thing to another without getting incredibly confused. I can even play both parts of "chopsticks" on the piano all by myself.
A well-rounded Renaissance Woman - I've never flied a plane, I've never been on a motorcylcle, I can't watch scary movies at night. In fact there are SOOO many things I wish I could have done, like being a cheerleader in highschool, being lead in a play, making a dance team, going to my senior prom, being class president, being voted homecoming queen. But I can do anything I set my mind to it. I've seen and done ALMOST all. I've gone to state in both music and sports, I've been on a Chess team, I've ranked top 5% in Math State tests, I've made over 25 quilts, I've been in a commercial, I've flown in a hellicopter, I've jumped out of a 100 foot tree, I've toured FIDM, and so on. I surprise so many people with my abilities, and I so often take it for granted. I'm one lucky girl to be able to do as much as I can. And I shouldn't have to lean on other peoples faith in me to keep going. I truly am talented, and a lot of people wouldn't be where they are without me. I have so much potential whether other people realize it or not. Thanks for all of you who do realize it, and to those who don't... someday you will, but even if you don't that's okay too. Because I know it, God knows it, and the people who matter most know it. I have A great husband who supports me, a family who loves me, friends who care about me, the world as my canvas. We were sent down here to learn. The way you learn is by doing. Me sitting around moping about how nobody appreciates me is just going to make things worse. From now on I am going to live life like God wants me to and wherever he takes me, whoever he sends my way, and whatever he wants me to do, and whenever he wants me to do it... so be it. Peace Out!
