Okay, so since we have our little family blog, and nobody reads this anyway probably, I've decided I am going to use this as my journal. Well, to an extent... There are just some things left better unsaid.
So entry number 1:
This pregnancy is KICKING MY BUTT!!!!! I never thought I would throw up this many times my whole life combined! But... as long as I get my baby from it I guess I can handle it. It is frustrating though trying to decide if its hormones, brains, emotions, or my heart telling me what to think. I'd like to think I'm not different than before and that things really are happening and I have a legitimate reason to freak out. But... that's probably not the case. I just feel like a lot is happening that normally didn't, like my computer breaking, my car not starting even after the battery's been charged, I never get my phone calls, I can't get this stupid dog urine smell out of our carpet, and its making me sick! Anyway I don't want to go on and on about my pitiful life or anything. I love my life, I'm just really confused right now. I don't know what to do about school, and I'm afraid I'm not even going to be able to finish and so many bad things will come up if that happens. I just feel like I have the energy and motivation of a 90 year old. I seriously feel like I've been pulled on and dragged so much that I can't even accomplish anything anymore. I don't even want to be around people anymore because it seems like they never have anything positive or fun to say. Its always "obama this obama that, work this work that, drugs this drugs that, etc." I wish I was a kid again and the extent of our conversations were "he's so cute!" and "I LOVE that outfit". I feel like all this negative talk is rubbing off on me and I'm losing hope. Maybe it's my choice of friends, or maybe I'm just not seeing the good in people... OH GREAT! ... I guess it is the hormones talking.
I want to fix it, normally if someone is negative I just don't hang out with them. But what am I supposed to do if I'm in a position where I can't ignore them? I'm trying to be a good example. But it's so hard when the only way we can keep a conversation is if its "juicy" or "top secret", or if its putting someone down so you can 'feel better about yourself' ugh... I need a hobby.